I'd have to lose everything...

Entry #00770

Cincinnati, Ohio. What a horribly designed city- winding roads that don't make sense on maps nor in actual use. And it makes so much sense that this is where the decision was made.

We (L.A.O.) are going to be moving to Nashville.

I've never been missing home more than this past week or two. The tour has hit a rough spot, but I don't think that's even "it." More than two months have passed since we left and I say this every time but this time I mean it so much more- I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore. The only people at home I can even begin to communicate with are my parents and brother. Everything else seems like some abstract way to connect because I'm not sure what to say. And honestly, I've never really missed any of you when we've been gone on tour before. But this time it's all so different. I guess I just want to say that I care so much about everything and when you disconnect yourself from the world, it's so hard to express that care.

And I always wonder why I keep everything so boxed up now. Did I get hurt so bad that I just don't want to go through it all again? Am I tired of not having anything that is just mine? Something to keep all to myself and not have to share? Have I lost the ability to express myself words? Or maybe I'm just secure enough to let me sort me out?

Anyways, I'll be home in a month...for about 2 months. Then life changes forever and I'm scared to think about it but so excited at the same time.

Don't freak out. Things could change. Things could not.